Nudity in Japan.

I am watching this TV show (while I write this) that is this big end of the year festival show, which has an enormous number of the year's famous acts, songs, comedians and such. According to my host mother, 50 percent of the people watching TV at this time are watching that show!
Well, in this one song (which I rather like, google or youtube DJ OZMA) as they sing (I wont talk about what they sing, as it is pretty self explanatory) they are all taking off their clothes. In the music video and the several times that I have seen the song performed on TV, they stop at underwear. However, today was a little different, In the last stanza, all of the performers, men and women were topless, just wearing small underwear, and in the end, when they usually drop their pants down to their underwear, they dropped everything, except because Japan has really weird censorship laws, you can't show pubic hair (or something like that, I won't saw all I know!) and so they all had 'happy new year' esque, handkerchef like things taped? glued? something to their bodies.

I wonder how the censorship laws work at the naked festivals?

That was dumb.

Shinjuku.
15 minutes.
300 dollars.
-1 coats.
I was going to the dance girl's house for dinner yesterday, so I wanted something a little nicer (but mostly warmer!) than anything else I had, so I left my house with out a coat! I got to Shinjuku, which is where I change trains to get to her house, so that was where I was gonna look for a coat. And damn, did I look. Even if I had been smaller, all the coats that I thought looked really nice and warm, were too fucking expensive!!!!! This country blows. Anyway, got on the train, went to her station, met her, went to house, had dinner, came home, and was cold on the way back.
She has an older sister, and they were doing each other's hair, and so someone made a joke and then she did my hair. I need a haircut.

Now it is the 31st of December. I now have to spend 3 straight days with my host family, which is going to be miserable.
Today, we start by cleaning the house!!!!
God damnit.

That felt great.

Today was the coldest it has been all year, there is snow up north, but since snow doesn't fall in Tokyo, it was about 5 degrees celcius. However, the wind chill was probably below freezing, and fuck, was the wind strong.
Being an idiot, I decided to go for a bike ride! It was one of those days where I wish I had brought my camera, but then remembered that if I stopped to take pictures I would freeze, so I didn't. I rode about 52 kilometers, and it just felt great. I rode up one way, and back the same path, but going was hard. It took over an hour and a half to get to where I turned around because the wind kept my average speed to really slow. Coming home took me less than an hour!

I am hungry so I am going to get something to eat.

Peter

Suck this big one!

Not trying hard enough in school? Put this in your pipe and smoke it!

Modern Literature: 85

Classical Literature (ancient Japanese): 75

Japanese History: 90

Math: 75

Physics: 64

PE: 75

Calligraphy: 85

English (something): 87

English (grammar): 87

In American terms, that comes out to 5 A's, 3 B's and a C

I am smarter than you.

Shall we dance?

Last night I got an email from a friend and she invited me to watch her dance competition.
So I went and watched her dance competition.

I have never seen so many crazy effeminate men in my life. And I felt really fat.

I wish I had brought my camera just to take pictures of the guys wearing more makeup than any women should ever use. In her life.

Then I went and hung out with a friend after her violin lesson. I met her for the first time at the Chris's bunkasai, but she has violin lessons in Ikebukoro! That means that she takes the train for over an hour each way for a lesson that is less than an hour!!!!!!!!!!! But there are all sorts of practice things, so she ends up playing like 5 or 6 hours.

And now it is raining really heavily.

I was planning on calling and wishing a Merry Christmas, but I forgot. sorry!

Peter

This post is for James Brown.

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/arts/AP-Obit-Brown.html?hp&ex=1167109200&en=7b2c52eb394d9620&ei=5094&partner=homepage

A moment of silence is in order.


Merry Christmas to all, mine was pretty dull.

Peter

A pretty good day?

I feel asleep yesterday about 8, and woke up this morning sore at about the same time. That was the first time I have slept 12 hours in a crazy long time. I kicked it for a little bit, waited for the rest of the family to get up, and I left the house about 9:30. The weather today was also fabulous. I went to the end of my pass, and started to walk. I took all of the small cute streets, walked through dozens of parks, and took heaps of photos, which I will post later, and send back some CDs probably next week.
It was still pretty early (about 3) so I decided to head over to the park and ride BMX bikes with some guys I met a couple weeks ago. I get to the park, and we rode for a little while in the woods, until we saw some flashing lights and then my day started to go downhill.
Since we were riding in the woods in a big public park, the authoritys are sorta loud about it, and don't encourage it at all, so we started to clear out a little bit. But wait, why would a fire truck and an ambulance come just to kick some bike riders out of the park? Well, they weren't. They passed by us, and went to a paddy less than 50 meters from where we were riding. We followed just to see what was up, as a whole lot of people were coming too.
There, in the woods, was, a hanging.
We couldn't, luckily, see very much, but it wasn't really what I was expecting my holidays to be like in a foreign country.
Considering that I too, not too long ago had thought (albeit not very seriously, but still, some) about it, it was a very odd feeling to me. That's not really the way I want to end up.

Let's talk about something happier, like the holidays!
Hanukkah is over, and I didn't get one fucking latke.
It is Chrismas eve.
I live in a foreign country.
With a host family I don't like.
I am still single.

Fuck this, I'm going to get my neighbor to buy me some beer.

お兄ちゃん、頑張って！

Just another one of those days I wish I'd brought my camera. I woke up about 10:30, which was nice, because for once, I didn't have bags under my eyes! I relaxed for a little bit, and about noon went and finally got on my bike, because the weather was absolutely amazing! I rode about 85 kilos, all the way to Tokyo Disneyland (which is actually in Urayasu, which is in Chiba, not Tokyo) and back. It was slow going, but I was glad to get out anyway. I was really really tired and was coming home, I was climbing this hill, and it was soooo slow, weaving back and forth, trying not to fall asleep.
And then, this little girl, maybe 3 or so, shouted the title of this post. Oniichan, ganbatte! Which means 'good luck older brother' I shouted thanks (arigatou!!) and sprinted to the top of the hill.

I wonder how Molly is doing in Belgium.

Another day off.

I had the day off again today. I met the professor from the university for lunch and coffee, and we talked of this and that. Then I left, and went to a book store.
I got bored and went and bought a soccerball and played in the park by my house for a while.
Then I went to the last calligraphy lesson of the year. I really like calligraphy, all of my teachers and people who see my work really like it, but I think...
I think too much. Or at least thats what a lot of people say.

People say a lot of things.

Bastards.


Tomorrow is the last day of the term. I go to school just for the closing ceremony, buy my class was special classes next week. I plan on not going to a single one, and thus will be back at school around the 8th or 9th of January. Its kinda nice to have a break.

Peter

Cold.

I had the day of today, (and yesterday and tomorrow, and the ending of the term ceremony is this friday!) and just kicked it for a little bit. I helped clean house, but it was actually the clinic that the family runs. It was dull, but then they bought me a really tasty lunch.
It hasn't been especially cold, always around 10 celcius, but I think I have also caught a cold, or maybe it is just that the Japanese are cold. Or all of them?
If they are aren't cold, then here is one thing they are, this is an excerpt from a conversation I had with an exchange student (half a year down on me, so I am the one advising!) She is a 16 year old Thai girl (but she bought the kids (12 and under) ticket when we went to the zoo!)
Me: You are lonely? Find a nice Japanese boy! (lots easier said than done, or at least finding a nice Japanese girl is!!!)
Nim: I don't like Japanese guys very much. They are all so, whats that word? It starts with an m...m...
Me: Misogynistic?
Him: Metrosexual!
Perms, shaved eyebrows, handbags, really funny looking pants, etc.

I am also very disappointed that I am unable to create posts that people will write comments for!

Peter

I might never eat again.

I just got back from dinner at the Fukuda's. Kimie was home, and so a lot of her old friends were over as well, so there were about 10 people there. There was more food on the table at one time than I see in my host family in about a week. I think I ate about 2 days worth of food in one dinner.
I talked with them about my plan to get into a high school, and they said that I could put there name down where ever there was a legal guardian box. Sweet.

I will go to the Tokyo Board of Education tomorrow to discuss my plan, then on tuesday, wednesday, and thursday I have a break from school, so I plan on going to the US embassy, Japanese Board of Education, and if I can't do it in Tokyo, I will go to the Kanagawa Board of Education in Yokohama, because I have helped out at a school there a couple of times, and they have a couple of exchange students, and I know some of the teachers there, so they might be able to help me out.

If I can only get into an international school, do I still want to do it?

Peter

I wish there were more people in the world like him.

I just had a very pleasant and enjoyable conversation in the park outside my house with a ten year old boy. We talked about baseball and large sums of money, god and heaven, murder, pokemon, and santa claus.

That was fun.

Secret Plan A

As many of can probably tell, I am not satisfied with my experience in Japan. I wouldn't go into the finer details of those, or why I want to say, because it involves things I don't really want to say.

Secret Plan A 発表! (happyou, release (of something, like a speech))
Basically, it involves me remaining in Japan for another year. As a high school student, but NOT an exchange student. I don't like exchange programs. I will take a standard high school entrance exam with standard Japanese students, and we will go to a standard Japanese high school together. I hope.

Peter

I could make it sound more exciting, but that will hurt more when I fail, so I won't.

Living with a host family.

Molly probably had it worse, but I can't run away.
It is a really bizarre, almost scary, feeling living in with a host family that thinks it is treating you like family, caring for you, doing things for your sake.
However, I don't feel like I am being treated like family. The way they are treating me is not like that of my own family, and I feel like they didn't things that have hindered me!

No school today, because we finished exams yesterday. I got the same as 2 or 3 other kids in my math test, which is nice, but I was really scared and so I made some dumb mistakes.
I (no shit) got the lowest score on the Japanese literature test.
The history test. Wow. The teacher was calling names so that they would come get their tests.
Peter...(go get my test) 22
Kimura...(goes get his test)
Takayama...loses to Peter!
I can't belive the teacher actually told the class that someone got a lower score than I did! But I am still proud.

Schedule for today.
I will leave soon to call home to discuss 'Secret Plan A'
Then go to a book store to research 'Secret Plan A'
Then I will go to talk to a friend about 'Secret Plan A'
Then I will post on my blog about 'Secret Plan A'

I hope things go well.

Peter

A legitimate reason to be really really pissed off.

My homeroom teacher, my counselor, my host mother. Talking last night with host mom after I posted that last post. The way she said it made me want to do something that I would undoubtedly regret later. She had talked with my counselor and teacher and the three of them have apparently been communicating. She said something like this to me "I know this is hard for. But its not just hard for you. It was a very hard decision for the three of us to not let you stay. But we decided that for the sake of your future, it would be best not to give you the extension" WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO DECIDE ABOUT MY FUTURE?!?! ITS MY FUCKING LIFE AND MY FUTURE. JAPAN WAS MY FUTURE ASSHOLES!!!!!!! YOU WANT ME TO HAVE A GOOD FUTURE YOUR FUCKING BACKSTABBERS, LET ME STAY!!!!
I want to spend the last little bit I have just playing, but they wont let me. They still want me to stay in the same situation I hate so much. They dont want me to go out and have fun my way, they want me to have fun in the place where I have been trying to have fun and failing for the past 8 months! And they can send me home anytime I want.

There is a word in Japan 裏切り uragiri, which is translated into english as 'betray', but it means more than that. The first character means 'back' the second(and third, a grammar thing) mean cut. back cut. Betrayed by the only people I had connection to with authority. And because of it, I lose what was the biggest part of life up until now.

Oh the thinks I am thinking right now.

The end?

This could be my last post. I went and talked with my counselor today. To put it quickly, it turns out that basically everyone has been lying to me about everything from the very beginning. It was never possible to get an extension, and yet they told me that it was, so I worked my ass off in order to get that extension. If I had know that in the beginning, I would have lived much much differently. I feel betrayed and used and just really depressed. My counselor brought up (I dont really remember why) something that related to the common Japanese 'bullying' and the resulting suicides. I doubt I will kill myself, but I won't deny that I have thought about it. Extreme, but I feel that all I have really ever worked hard for was Japan, and then I come and get completely fucked over by it. If I lose Japan, I lose a quarter of my life. I dont want to lose the rest, but thats a big portion to lose in a really short amount of time.

It looks like I will be home in 6 weeks. I really really fucking wish that someone had told me that so I didnt waste all my fucking time doing stupid shit like study for the assholes at my school.

一生懸命, isshoukenmei, trying really really hard/desperetly.

My program said OK to the extension, my host family said OK to the extension, my school said OK to the extension. Wait! No they didnt! My school doesn't want to give me the extension. I talked with my teacher, and started crying (not balling, just having tears roll down my face) in the hall of school. He said he doesn't see why I want to stay, he says I need a purpose. I said I wanted to learn. He was then very rude and was like 'well you sure arent trying. like in my math class, your body is there, but that is it'. He said that my relationships with my classmates wasnt good. Thats not my fault, they study 24/7. I dont do as well in the class as my classmates. No shit, Im not Japanese, I wasnt brought up here and I entered midcurriculum so I dont really know what is going on. I cant read and write as well as my classmates. No shit, I have only been studying Japanese for about a quarter of my life whereas they have their entire life.
Its preposterous!

This week I am going to try 一生懸命　to find a purpose. Instead of studying for finals, which started today.

頑張ります!!!

Peter

An update on 'you-know-who'

The only thing I don't have in my life is any kind of relationship with women.

Days like this make me want to stay in Japan.

And I'm not really talking about what happened either. The weather was gorgeous (forgot my camera!), cold but not freezing (13 or so celcius), I met interesting people and eat tasty things.
First up was meeting a professor at Teikyo University (the university of my school, which is how we met). We were going to eat dinner last night in Ginza, but he had to change it to today, so we had lunch in Roppongi instead! For those of you who dont know, but of those places are very famous, and very famously expensive. I thought it was going to be a research type thing, but when I met him on the 51st floor of Morii Tower in Roppongi hills (the entrance to the Roppongi Hills Club!!) he was with his with, and we waited there a little bit for his son. We then didn't eat there, but eat at someother place in Roppongi Hills. It was not at all a work type conversation, but just pleasant famillial conversation, and a good meal too! From there, we split up, I took the train with his son (20 or so) and we talked all the way pretty much to my station, which was fun because he is actually on the same train line as me! I met my host family at the station and we walked to this ramen place which is my host dad's favorite. The walk through the lovely weather was amazing, and the park which we walked through was gorgeous! The park (Hikarigaoka koen) was actually where the US military families lived after the war. 50 years ago, that park was part of US. We then went to eat ramen, which was really good, then we topped it off with Haagen-Daz, which wasn't bad either! It was still really nice out so I decided to run back home and get my camera to take a bunch of pictures of the awesome park, but as I was running back home I bumped into some people who I will hang out with again. There were about a 6 guys on BMX bikes riding around this one part of the park, just laughing and smiling and being not very good, but very friendly, so when it looked like they were taking a break, I walked over and started talking to them. Very nice people, they are there every week, and invited me to ride any of the bikes, but they worded it a little differently. It was something along the lines of 'feel free to break any of these bikes except for that one.' So I rode around for a little bit, and they tought me to do some little things, and I rode off of their ramps. I will go back next week, unless the timing is off, because I have been invited to make mochi, but I dont know when that is over. I just had a tasty dinner at home, and my favorite TV show is on. It is about a 17 year old teppan style chef (plus shes cute!)

Peter

I also had fun after school yesterday hanging out with the kid who I like the most of the non-international course kids. He is my best friend in my own class, and is also basically the only person my host brother doesnt like.