Tuesday, December 12, 2006

A legitimate reason to be really really pissed off.

My homeroom teacher, my counselor, my host mother. Talking last night with host mom after I posted that last post. The way she said it made me want to do something that I would undoubtedly regret later. She had talked with my counselor and teacher and the three of them have apparently been communicating. She said something like this to me "I know this is hard for. But its not just hard for you. It was a very hard decision for the three of us to not let you stay. But we decided that for the sake of your future, it would be best not to give you the extension" WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO DECIDE ABOUT MY FUTURE?!?! ITS MY FUCKING LIFE AND MY FUTURE. JAPAN WAS MY FUTURE ASSHOLES!!!!!!! YOU WANT ME TO HAVE A GOOD FUTURE YOUR FUCKING BACKSTABBERS, LET ME STAY!!!!
I want to spend the last little bit I have just playing, but they wont let me. They still want me to stay in the same situation I hate so much. They dont want me to go out and have fun my way, they want me to have fun in the place where I have been trying to have fun and failing for the past 8 months! And they can send me home anytime I want.

There is a word in Japan 裏切り uragiri, which is translated into english as 'betray', but it means more than that. The first character means 'back' the second(and third, a grammar thing) mean cut. back cut. Betrayed by the only people I had connection to with authority. And because of it, I lose what was the biggest part of life up until now.

Oh the thinks I am thinking right now.


At 11:53 PM, Blogger yr ma said...

Dear Peter,

Thank you. I know you are in a very stressful situation right now. I wonder if we should find a way for you to leave this family immediately. It must be very difficult to return home at the end of a school day.

Your calm exterior in the face of this storm will serve you well. The situation will have to change quickly.

love you, mom

At 2:25 AM, Blogger Molly Cameron said...


Sorry to hear it is a bummer situation. I follow your posts but I can't quite gather what is going on with your current host family!

To relate, I had a situation happen when I was studying espanol in Guatemala. I lived with this family that was totally dysfunctional and one night the "uncle" started beating the kids and I was super freaked out and hid in my room and then packed up all my stuff and make a quick exit to stay at a friends host family's house.

Maybe not the same thing but, I had a hard time with the language difference and the cultural disrespect towards the ladies.


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