Sunday, October 21, 2007

I need a change of scenery.

People often talk about freedom to live a certain way, but the more you live a certain way, the less free you actually are. What does it mean to live free?

Something in my life needs to change. Now, nobody likes to admit that they are the problem, but I think it might be time for me to look at myself, and see what needs changing.

Unfortunately, I don't even know what it means to know yourself, or even what it means to look for yourself. What does taking a trip even do?

Does it uproot us? But if we are leaving a bad place, but we have roots there, then why are those roots there? Are humans so resilient that they will try to live in a place that is wrong for them?
How did a race as stupid as the human race ever manage to do half of the things that they did?

I wish I knew more about swarm theory. That's biology, and I have never had an interest in biology, but I can see how it would be useful in urban planning/civil architecture.
Does that mean I should study biology in college? Or maybe if I wanted to know about the green architecture, I should be doing chemistry? But if I do those, I would know nothing about planning/architecture.

I don't feel that fickle is quite the right word to describe me, maybe 'easily influenced'.
That's a lousy feeling by the way.

In a great deal of honesty, nothing but good things are happening to me, but that doesn't mean that all is good in me.

Does that make any sense?
Why would that even be? What isn't going right? And how do I even know those things?

How can anybody know so little about themselves?


At 11:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Peter,

You are thinking hard about so many things. Some people don't ever think about who they are or why they are doing what they're doing. Reflection is a good thing, even if its not always easy. i hope you can arrive at some answers.

Alex leaves Saturday. I'm not sure he knows why he's seeking a change of scenery, but i hope it will prove interesting.

love yrma

At 4:55 PM, Blogger Peter said...

is that the problem with the world? sure is one big one!

so many people tell me i think to much, but i think that most people dont think enough!

At 9:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Peter--i know you're thinking about lots of new things. but tell us what is happening with the job you mentioned? love from yr gpa


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