Thursday, March 01, 2007

A great son and brother.

I was on my way to a club last night (it was boring, I left early) when I got asked to be a model. The guy took my picture several times, and said I would get a call in about a week if I made call-backs. If I do, I will skip going to the airport to pick up my family to go to the rehearsal for the shoot, which is on the 20th, the day before I leave.

Leaving. It is now March, the last month I might ever be in country. I told my dad that I wanted to take the messenger job (they told me that they want me to turn 18, but that I definately caught their eye) and he got kinda mad at me. I guess it might be kinda hard to start a job as a bike messenger in a foreign country when you are a high school dropout.
By the way, I am probably the smartest person on the planet ever to quit/be kicked out of high schools on two continents.

School. I should probably go back to school. Ethan Krow (Crow? sorry if I spelled that wrong) and his brother and I were thinking about renting an apartment, which would give me a place to live in Portland as I take my one stupid class at Lincoln, and take classes at PSU via Link, and take classes at Reed via Reed Young Scholars, and work at PDOT. However, I hardly even want to be associated with the people at Lincoln after all the stupid shit that we have gone through. I'm not even sure if I want to speak in front of a class like that. If they don't want to hear what I have to say, fuck em, then they don't deserve to hear what I have to say.
I still have to send out some emails about doing Link and RYS and working, but I dont want to spend anytime doing that because I have so little time left in this country, and I want to make what little time I have left really enjoyable, so that I have a desire to come back.
I thought about taking Chinese at either PSU or Reed, and go to China like Alex.

Alex. My older brother has always been an important figure in my life, and, like most younger brothers, wanted to be just like him.

But then I realized, I wanna be my own damn person, I wanna be me! Besides, Alex is kind of an asshole.

But then again, I'm kind of an asshole too. I wanna be my own person, but I don't really like the person that I have begun.

But I can't really explain why. Even to myself.

I had a pretty lousy calligraphy lesson today. The charaters weren't especially hard, but I just couldn't write anything. When the teacher asked me at the end of the usual time if I wanted to stay and keep writing like I usually do, I said 'No, I should probably end now'. First time I have done that in 8 months.

I am going to the gallery tomorrow afternoon to show my calligraphy, and have it cretiqued(sp?) by the calligrapher who shows his stuff their. I hope that goes well.

Considerally all that I have, and have access too, I am doing a pretty shitty job of enjoying myself and being well off.

ps. Happy 54th birthday Dad. It would probably be a lot more enjoyable if you thought of yourself as six nine-year olds, because they have a lot more fun together than one 54year old. Just a thought. But, people tell me that I think to much.


At 3:22 AM, Blogger nan said...

I love the six 9 year olds thing! I'm going to remember that for any approaching divisible birthdays.

Sorry to pop your intelligence balloon. My brother, the Phi Beta Kappa/Caltech PhD in Genetics guy? He was finishing HS in Spain when we moved back. Somehow, he never officially graduated? Doesn't seem to have held him back, but that was LO, many moon ago, and folks were less rigid in certain ways. My parents both started college at 16 or so. My sister did graduate, but was like the Loewi clan, taking classes at the U of O at the end. I BARELY graduated, finishing incompletes about 2 weeks before the U of O started. I was dumb. Very undisciplined. I thought I was the only one. Then my brother blogged about his school experiences. And we found those letters from my mother, and her siblings, writing their parents from school. Apologies for HORRIBLE grades. Did we ever know about those? Heck no! Mom was one of the 1st women to graduate in chemistry. Women weren't "allowed".

Relax, know it will all work out. Give yourself some exit time and some re-entry time. I remember being MORE shocked coming home, and having a hard time with re-entry, than going. Japan is a different gig, but I'm guessing you have morphed, Manga-Man, more than you know. Western society, and the land of large cars, not as many bikes, and more than one hair color awaits your arrival. Be prepared to NOT be prepared. And know you're not alone, or unusual(I know, we all think we're the ONLY one who's going thru whatever) in the process. Really. You just plain ROCK. As does your whole fam damily!

At 5:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am not.


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