Finding My Japan.

成人

2009-04-27T13:53:00.001+09:00

Seijin is what you call people who have come of age.
And on that note, I have turned 20 and become a Seijin.

But, 20 isn't important in the US, and I have missed turning the important age in the important place.

Man, my whole life is off.

Fuck I feel old.

里帰り。Satogaeri

2009-01-17T23:50:00.002+09:00

Satogaeri means to, literally 'return to the village'. It is what I have been saying I am doing back in Tokyo, returning to my home. And now, I am 36 hours away from having to go back to the US for university.

I wanted to go through a number of phases that I've had here.

First, I went through kind of this honeymoon period. The first couple of days back were among the happiest I have been in a very, very, very long time.

Then I got sad, a sad and lonely similar to what I had experienced in the past.

Then, with the help of another half-Japanese kid from Haverford, I worked on getting back into my music roots, and got really really psyched for going back to Haverford. I felt at this point that Tokyo was home, and then I knew pretty much what I was gonna do when I went back to Haverford, even though it didn't really have anything to do with school. But had the energy to go back!

Then, I got sad again. I read a lot, tried to deal with some long standing (and new) emotional issues, tried to sort shit out inside me.

Now, on the eve of my departure, I'm pretty sad about leaving my home here. I know that I will be back, which is very rare (its a psych thing), but I'm sad that life here goes on without me.

Its like I have to lives to live, but can only do one at a time, but time moves similataniously for both. What a bitch.

I'm sad about leaving, and a little ambivalent about school. I don't know what I'm taking, and I doubt I can accomplish my goals.

Goals:
1) Keep my head down.
2) Read.
3) DJ.
4) Lose an average of a kilo a month.
5) Not fuck up even more.

I'm not really going to school for the class part, which makes me feel really bad, because its not like I haven't already wasted enough money in my life.

Present Futures for Illogical Pasts.

2009-01-07T10:00:00.001+09:00

I, and with that I think that most people do (or at least should), have a great deal of trouble coming to terms/grasping who I have become from where I came from.

Hmm. Thats not a convoluted sentence at all.

So, here I to meet a person from many years ago, who was my friend back then, and had to try and explain myself to them, I have trouble believe that they could ever grasp that. Now, I have plenty of trouble coming to terms with who I have become myself, but, for example, anybody who I went to, say, Lincoln with, heard some of the ways I have been describing myself now, I doubt they would be able to understand what happened.

Now, in all honesty, I don't really understood what happened either.

Lets try and put it this way:
I'm not the same person that my past would have grown up to be.
If you tried to make a logical regression from who I am now in order to find out who I was, the past of my current self is not the same as the past that I lived.

Meaning that, it should also therefore be impossible to attempt to predict my own future, assuming that anything so illogical should ever illogically happen again.

Fuck my life.

Home.

2009-01-02T21:19:00.000+09:00

I am home in Tokyo for winter break, and it is really incredible to me how much it actually feels like 'home'. I am much happier here than I was back at Haverford, but also happier then last time I was here.

I think Haverford made me realize that.

Weird.

Fuck my life.

2008-12-14T15:39:00.001+09:00

I really hate it here, at college in the US. Is it college? Or this college? Or the US?

I don't really know, but I don't seem to fit in anywhere, and that really sucks.

Philosophy and the Good Life

2008-10-23T12:26:00.003+09:00

A year ago today, October 22, 2007, my friend and teammate Brett Jarolimek was killed in a bike crash at an intersection that I tried to make a better place when I was working for the City of Portland.

Today in my philosophy class, we discussed Aristotle and his views of happiness, and how sometimes, luck and fortune do come into play in ones' happiness.
Just because we talked about it doesn't mean I know how to deal with it.

Veloshop, I love you,
Brett, I miss you.

Theories.

2008-10-19T06:48:00.002+09:00

A brief and abridged translation from a section of my Japanese blog.

American is a melting pot of cultures, with lots and lots of pieces of this and that, but doesn't really have a distinct cultural identity.

I Think this was possibly the main reason that upon moving to Japan, being brought up by Japanese, I have a great deal of trouble relating to people here in America, and feel much more Japanese than anything else.

I'm not American, or Japanese, nor I am really Asian American, so I think I will call myself an American Asian. (that isn't really from the blog, but its a slight translator's liberty.)

I feel very strange.

My Japan, My America.

2008-10-03T07:51:00.002+09:00

It has been almost 2 months since I last wrote.

I don't really know what is going on.

I went to see my biological parents back in the states a couple of days after my last post, and had, to be completely honest, a really terrible time. It is really weird to see these people who, should be my 'family' and yet they know so little about me.
In the least mean way possible to them, I have trouble calling them my family.
It's not a case of bad parenting or bad childing, its just that we don't seem to match.

I was with them for less than a week and I walked out at least once.

Then, I went to college.

I am currently the Japanese International Student at Haverford.

It sounds weird in English, but I really have trouble in this country. I really have trouble relating to 'Americans'.
Almost all of my friends are the other international kids.

A cultural identity crisis is not what I was expecting.

I have no idea how to even begin to explain some of the stuff going on in my life.

Lupe Fiasco.

2008-08-12T14:27:00.001+09:00

Which means I'm headless,
like Ichabod Crane is,
or foreplay-less sex is.

I'm having a hard week.

Meat.

2008-08-05T11:42:00.001+09:00

I was invited to a BBQ by this guy I know (my age) and we had a BBQ at his house.
There were

4 boys
and

2 vegetables.

This and that.

2008-07-30T14:22:00.000+09:00

I went to the darkroom on Monday.

Clips.

2008-07-27T00:26:00.000+09:00

http://www.ur-hair.com/stylist/cas_dai/blog/index.php

This is the guy who cuts my hair.

Lost in Translation.

2008-07-23T00:50:00.001+09:00

So, in Lost in Translation, there is a scene in the bar of the Park Hyatt Tokyo (which is where they are staying).

I had a drink in that bar tonight.
It was pretty awesome.

Tokyo Metropolitan Museum of Art.

2008-07-09T11:56:00.002+09:00

This is a scan of the flyer for the show at the Tokyo Metropolitan Museum of Art.
By the way, the characters there are not mine.

Sad things.

2008-07-07T19:56:00.001+09:00

Don't you hate it when stuff is on sale and you still can't afford it?

But let me tell you, I look damn good in a Comme Ca suit.
Pity it costs about as much as my rent.

Fun with Aperature.

2008-06-29T23:51:00.003+09:00

Fireworks in the rain at beach.
Original and altered version.

Searching for Air Pockets on the Hanglider of My Life.

2008-06-28T22:42:00.002+09:00

I realized that I haven't written anything in about 2 weeks, though this isn't the only place where that has happened.

I have a lot of little big shit going around right now, no idea what to do about any of it. I spend too much time thinking about things that shouldn't be thought about and too much time trying to now think about the things that need to be thought about.

Yeah, I still don't have anything to say.

A day late.

2008-06-16T22:55:00.001+09:00

Dad.

Bean curd from space.

2008-06-13T22:41:00.001+09:00

I was at the grocery store tonight, and I saw a round shaped package that said:

U.F.O.T.

Thats pretty clever.

I'm off to bed.

WHAT?

2008-06-09T15:46:00.002+09:00

I have this incredible urge to play soccer.

but I have no shoes, no ball, and as far as I can find, no clothes can are suitable for sports.

Cameras

2008-06-03T23:01:00.002+09:00

悩む、なやむ、Nayamu means to worry, to stress about something.

Cameras.

Wow.

With the sort of loss of my little digital camera, making the second one I have killed in about as many years (its still under warranty, probably, I just can't find that stuff), and my really liking film, and my human desire to want things, I am spending lots of time thinking about cameras.

With the introduction of the D300, the D200 went down in price, but not are all but sold out.
The body costs about 1000 bucks.

But its a D200, do I really NEED it? Well, no, but I really WANT it.

I have all of the Nikon lens from my film camera, so it would make sense to get something like that

The step down (and the lowest step I will go to) is the D80, the body costs like, 7-800 bucks?

But I like film.
A lot.

So with my recent modeling career and seeing how terrible I look in magazines, I think I would rather take pictures than have my picture taken, and fashion is mostly done with medium format cameras. I can get a used film medium format camera for 3-400 bucks, but film and such gets expensive.

I spend so much money on film and developing, its really no surprise I'm losing weight.

Wait, no, that has to do with getting back on the bike.
I got dropped my a member of the Japanese National Team, but I passed a guy on a motorcycle dressed like Kamen Raider, the other day.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kamen_Rider_Series

Ug.

How dumb do I get.

2008-05-26T21:29:00.003+09:00

I will write about my trip later.
I will write about this party I went to later.
I will write about how dumb I am now.

I went riding my bike today. Nice day, I thought I'd take a nice little ride. Didn't bring any tools, which I usually don't, but this time, I also didn't bring my lock.

So, I go riding.
I get carried away.
I start to push it.
I remember my cyclocross roots.
I forget that I am riding a track bike with skinny slick tires.
I continue to push it.
I ride down a gravel road.
A really long gravel road.
I flat.
I push it.
And when I say that, I mean push my bike.
45 minutes to an hour into my ride, I flat.
I have no tools, so I can't fix the flat, I have no lock so I can't leave my bike by a station and take the train home.
I forget that I have a bad back.
I remember my cyclocross roots again.
I shoulder my bike and begin to run.
About an hour and a half later, the sun sets.
I keep running.
After another hour and a half, it starts to rain.
More than 4 hours after I left, I return home.
And then I remember that so much of the pain that is in my back/shoulder/neck is from shouldering my bike in cyclocross races.

I need a strong drink.

Vacation

2008-05-22T12:37:00.000+09:00

I will write about my trip later.

Mother

2008-05-11T21:57:00.001+09:00

Happy Mother's Day to all of my lovely mothers.

If Murakami can do it, so can I.

2008-05-09T16:29:00.004+09:00

Bringing calligraphy to the rich!

I am going to a party with Soryu Sensei tonight in Ginza.

PS. This was written while listening to Fergie's Glamorous.

A continuation of yesterday's conversation.

2008-05-06T22:12:00.002+09:00

So, if that is the case, then why is graffiti so hot these days?
Why is Banksy being sold at fucking, Urban Outfitters?

Do I need to go and pull a JR, or what?

http://www.jr-art.net/

Society Sucks

2008-05-05T22:02:00.002+09:00

If the best photography in the world took a picture with the worst camera in the world and it was compared to a picture taken my the worst photography in the world using the best camera, would society be able to tell which was better?

To quite Chris Rock "The whole world's fucked up!"

The past week.

2008-05-04T23:43:00.002+09:00

In the past week, I have:

turned 19

trained with professional Keirin cyclists (and been called strong!)

and last night, I raced with Bousouzoku, the famous Japanese motorcycle gangs.

Introducing!

2008-04-29T11:51:00.003+09:00

http://landofcolor.blogspot.com/

My new blog about calligraphy.

That is where I will be posting most of my work.

Talk about good service!

2008-04-29T11:25:00.001+09:00

I called Haverford this morning, at like 1pm there, which is 2 in the morning here.

"Haverford College Office of Admissions and Financial Aid, how may I help you?"
"Hi, I need to talk with Mr. Jess Lords or Mrs. Betsy Geiger"
"Can I tell them who is calling, please?"
"Yes, my name is Peter Loewi"
"The calligrapher?

wow.
Now all I need to do is to decide whether to go this year or defer and do what I should have done last year. I really wish I had focused on calligraphy rather than working brutal long hard hours at the architecture firm, which I have now lost a great deal of interest in.

That's ridiculous.

2008-04-21T22:17:00.000+09:00

Why does the overnight-slow train cost more than the super fast express train that takes likes, 2-3 times less time?!?!

The World Sucks.

2008-04-20T01:16:00.002+09:00

Paper

2008-04-15T22:26:00.002+09:00

I spent over 100 dollars on paper yesterday. Calligraphy paper and photo paper.

I wrote a happy birthday card for Paul.

I go to the darkroom tomorrow.

I got a new stem for my bike, the old one was too short and was hurting my back.

16 days left.

GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

2008-04-13T23:55:00.001+09:00

my digital camera broke.

i have 18 days left to decide what i want to do about college.

cornell/chicago/haverford

but, none of them really excite me, and i want to keep studying calligraphy.

at this point in time, im thinking defer for a year to keep studying under Soryu-sensei, and then go to haverford.

film.

2008-04-07T21:12:00.002+09:00

I love taking pictures.
but what I dont like is when the film speeds are different, and you forget to change the setting!
that means that the first 1-10 frames on almost all of the rolls will be ruined!!!!

i like my 24mm lens
i like my 135mm lens

The Brothers 3

2008-03-30T23:25:00.002+09:00

For the first time in as long as I remember, I wished my little brother Ethan had been here today, if maybe only for about two hours.
I saw the new Wes Anderson movie, The Darjeeling Express, with Alex, and it is about 3 brothers, (the middle brothers' name is Peter).

I don't know whether he would have enjoyed it or not, but I think it would have been a pretty cool experience.

Good movie, too.

March 23, 2008

2008-03-24T00:07:00.002+09:00

I arrived in Tokyo for the first time 2 years ago today. I was back in the states for 4 or so of those months, but I'm still strangely surprised I made it this far.

I wonder what comes next.

Strange Things in the World Today.

2008-03-19T22:06:00.002+09:00

I have no recollection of what I have said about the recent days. Lets go back and see if I can remember any of them.

I succeed in not getting in to GeiDai. Not a big deal. Part of me is bummed, part of me is bummed I didn't apply to any other schools here as I am starting to see some interesting opportunities. But I had a really terrible day today so I couldn't think about those.

I told Soryu-Sensei that class one day (the same day that he said none of my characters felt very good. Not written poorly, but not, I'm not really sure the word in English, but anyway, not healthy(?)) that I was having problems writing, and he said to me "Don't. I won't see you for two weeks. I want to not practice at home during this time. Put the brush down." To which he added at the end "but whatever you do don't quit calligraphy!"

But I of course had several other classes, so I had to write. One of them went absolutely terribly, couldn't write a single character, and in the middle of the class, I took out colored pencils and started doodling. The other class went somewhat better.

I was in a fashion show. The designer isn't in the Tokyo Collection, but he always has his show during it, so as to pretend that he is. Apparently pretty popular, I had never heard of it. Didn't like the clothes, so the much else that happened.
That was a strange night.

I can't remember anything else.

DOTHETEST

2008-03-18T13:41:00.000+09:00

I should really be asleep.

2008-03-13T23:57:00.002+09:00

I have lots that I should write, plenty that I could write, but its almost midnight, and I have a fitting for a fashion show tomorrow. Something about Harvey Pekar.

What does Harvey Pekar have to do with fashion!?!?!?!?!?!?

In calligraphy today, Soryu-Sensei had me help some of the littler kids with some brush work while he worked with the adults.

I wish I had friends my age.

Geidai

2008-03-05T18:30:00.002+09:00

I have my entrance exam in the morning, that should be a blast. I succeed in doing absolutely nothing useful today!!!!!

Damn I am good at that!

Abandoned Train Tunnels High in the Mountains, Shinjuku, and attempts to scan slides.

2008-02-27T20:59:00.004+09:00

The end of a dream.

2008-02-21T10:55:00.000+09:00

I had always wanted to visit Castro Cuba, but I guess that isn't possible anymore!

Bummer.

ps. My Harvard interview when just fine.

Soryu

2008-02-15T00:05:00.003+09:00

http://so-ryu.com/
Takeda Soryu is my main calligraphy teacher. He is the teacher who helped me get my visa, but might not be my best teacher. Well, I don't actually know how to tell if one is a good calligraphy teacher, but I feel I am writing better in another class. He is probably the best calligrapher among my teachers, and is by the far the most famous. He is also 24.

Anyway, yesterday (Wednesday) he invited me and two other students on a drive! 4 guys, aged 24, 23, 23, and 18, drove around Tokyo in Soryu-Sensei's brand new car looking for an exhibition space to hold a calligraphy exhibit.

That was pretty fun. We spent over an hour playing in the Conran Shop in Shinjuku, which is probably the most fun I will EVER have window shopping. I found this really really nice looking bag, that I really want, but its like 300 bucks, so not really in my budget at the moment. I bought some pants today, they are much needed.

On the drive home, Soryu pulls the car over, hands me his wallet, and says "You are the youngest, so go get us something to drink."

That was really fun.

I wish I had money.

A Memorable Compliment.

2008-02-12T02:22:00.000+09:00

Upon reading his thoughtbook, the girl turned to the boy and said, "if you dropped this in on the ground and it was picked up by a director, I bet he would make a movie of it."

Great Minds Think Alike.

2008-02-10T23:37:00.000+09:00

They say that great minds think a like.
And most religions say the same things.
Therefore, all religions are the same in greatness?

wordswordswords

2008-02-06T21:40:00.000+09:00

So, I'm really digging calligraphy.
And I'm listening to a lot of spoken word.

and its like, words words words art(?) expression expression expression

but then its like

nobody reads calligraphy, and what does writing calligraphy in one language do, anyway?

Work

2008-02-02T23:26:00.000+09:00

Monday: 12 hours
Tuesday: 12 hours
Wednesday: 14 hours
Thursday: told a lie, ran away to the beach
Friday: 14 hours
Saturday: HA! don't they wish. yes they do
Sunday: Not if I can help it!

I'm kinda sick of architecture.

篆刻(tenkoku) the carving of seals

2008-01-28T21:58:00.000+09:00

篆刻is the carving of seals in the 'seal script':篆書 If your computer displays those characters properly, you will see that the first character is the same. The two different ones are carve and write, so one is carving the script and the other is writing it.

Anyway, I can explain all that much better in Japanese, so I will just show those pictures, which are the seal pressed, and then the pressed and the real thing.

oh, I carved that.

Unexpected

2008-01-26T23:51:00.000+09:00

I got an 'award of excellence' in a calligraphy competition!

...and that's raw politics.

2008-01-25T11:02:00.000+09:00

"With Sylvester Stalone backing John McCain and Chuck Norris in Mick Huckabee's corner, for the first time in history, the Republican Candidate might be selected by an iron-caged fight to the death"

An other CNN quote.

http://www.mikehuckabee.com/?FuseAction=Blogs.View&Blog_id=724

"My plan for defending the border, two words: Chuck. Norris."

You know the world is coming to an end when shit like this happens.

Another Actor I liked.

2008-01-24T11:54:00.003+09:00

He starred in 10 Things I Hate About You with Heath Ledger, this is also a really cool video.

http://video.on.nytimes.com/?fr_story=FRsupt216892

and a funny Frank Gehry thing. TED is awesome

http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/13

"Once a shit, always a shit!"

News Indigest.

2008-01-24T00:17:00.000+09:00

I just spent a week riding trains. People often say things about "no destinations, only road" but I will say with experience that hurts your feet, butt, and soul.

I enjoyed the announcement on the train from Hakata to Hiroshima, "We are now traveling at 300 kilometers per hour"

In other news, it snowed in Tokyo today. It didn't stick, which made it really wet and cold.

And what the fuck, Heath Ledger died. That is really terrible.

CNN

2008-01-12T22:18:00.001+09:00

OJ Simpson, Britteny Spears, and dead Americans.

Can you even find Kenya on a map?

What a stupid channel.

変わり者だな！

2008-01-10T21:07:00.000+09:00

変わり者(kawari mono), when put into the dictionary.com translator, comes out as 'eccentric'.

I'll admit it!

I bought a train ticket today, for about a hundred bucks, which is good for 5 days straight, and good on any and all local trains in the country. As soon as college apps are over, I'm getting the fuck out of here!

Oh, pity I don't know where I want to go yet!

I kind of an urge to publish a book.

Dammit!

2008-01-08T00:30:00.001+09:00

Well, I got invited to help work on a (graduation?) project for an architecture student at GeiDai and so I did that all day today, and because of that, was unable to do any calligraphy! Which was the first time I have not used a brush in like, 2 weeks.
I will also work tomorrow, and have been asked to stay the night at the school to work overnight on the project! SUCK!

A Gray Day in January

2008-01-07T15:18:00.000+09:00

I bought the latest Kanye West album yesterday.

No work until the 23rd.

Nothing going super well, I haven't written a decent character since my post about Kenya, I pick up the brush and all that comes out is the character 'angry'.

Fuck I haven't slept well in a week.

And then it hit me.

2008-01-03T23:09:00.000+09:00

Actually, as usual, as me, the question hit me.

Here I am, sitting on the floor of my rooming writing calligraphy. I intern at an architecture firm building models of opera houses in foreign countries, and 300 people are being killed in Kenya.

What am I doing?!

Happy New Year

2008-01-01T01:07:00.001+09:00

The first character is 'bright', it can also mean to 'open' as in 'congratulations on opening the new year'.
Let's hope 2008 is a bright year for many. Also, this is the very first character I have written all year! I picked up the brush, and wrote it, first try.

The other character, (like owaru in the post below) is on it's side, but it means 'rat' as in 'year of the rat'. I actually wrote it yesterday.

Greetings from next year!

Owa-ru/syuu

2007-12-31T19:41:00.000+09:00

to end/the end

Let's hope 2008 doesn't suck as much as 2007 did!

That's just Preposterous!

2007-12-30T23:56:00.000+09:00

So, on my Mixi, the Japanese Facebook equivalent, I wrote a blog post.

I posted a picture of a character I wrote today, the character for 'cold', as in 'cold to the touch', or 'cold-hearted'
The text of the blog was "I spent today alone again."

So, a kid from school (a year older, and older sister of one of my 'friends') responds with a comment:

I saw you in the street today!

WHAT?!?!?!?
WHAT?!?!!?!?!?

That's just ridiculous.

Merry Non-Secular Christmas

2007-12-25T00:24:00.000+09:00

It is 12:30 in the morning of Christmas, and I am attempting to write college essays.

Christmas in Japan has nothing to do with religion.

A Truly Brilliant Invention.

2007-12-24T00:09:00.000+09:00

The Japanese cellphone system never ceases to amaze me. Thanks to no talking on the trains, most people send mail. Not text messages, mail. I can send messages from my computer to my phone and back. Internet, etc, whatever, you name it.

I have even designed a library that uses cellphone technology. Now all I wish is that someone would pay attention to my ideas.

Anyway, today, there was a new brilliant use.

I played 鬼ごっこ(onigokko, hide and go seek tag) tonight in a big park. But, this one had missions! Missions and all sorts of information concerning the locations of checkpoints, hunters and prey were sent over a mailling list system done on our cellphones.

Really really brilliant.

Actually, I've never had a cellphone in the US, but the ones I have used can't hold a candle to the ones I have used here.

You know you work too much when...

2007-12-20T22:23:00.001+09:00

...you have dreams about styrofoam.

Work Well Done

2007-12-18T01:06:00.000+09:00

Today I left my house before nine, and got to work before ten, and got to leave just after 12!!

At night.

I worked on [a secret project] and [another secret project].

I got home just before 1am.

Off to bed so that I can go to work again tomorrow!

I also have calligraphy tomorrow too, which means I can leave early!

News

2007-12-12T21:18:00.000+09:00

I got off work Tuesday and Wednesday at 8!!! Oh wait, thats because I started at 10 in morning. Balls.

I have been trying to write a bunch of college essays, trying to work, and trying to sleep, but I really don't have time for all three, and I am having a LOT more trouble deciding how to break those up than I ever should have. Why is it that the first thought that came into my head after I finished work at the main office (I have been working on a new project recently, but its a secret!), was not to go home and sleep, but to go back to the annex and see if they needed help with the project that I had been working on?

So not cool.

Anyway, I have the day off tomorrow, I have calligraphy, and time to sleep/write/?

and a good old laugh:
http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=2653

Groan

2007-12-09T12:20:00.001+09:00

After working till about 10pm on Friday (actually, we had a party in the office, for what reason I have no idea, but after the party everybody went back to work) I was hoping to get some sleep on Saturday. That didn't happen. A friend called me out for some photography stuff, and so I was busy from 10:30 until 1:30, and then from 2........WORK!
I worked from 2 until about 11:30 on a Saturday night! That was a blast. Got home past 12:30, slept until about 11, which meant that I missed my calligraphy teacher performing, which kinda pissed me off. Ug.

its 12:30 on a sunday and I have nothing to do but work on ridiculous essays

or

?

Persepolis

2007-12-07T22:32:00.001+09:00

http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony/persepolis/trailer/

looks wicked awesome!

"Never forget who you are, or where you come from"

Uh oh.

2007

2007-12-06T21:39:00.000+09:00

In calligraphy today, as is often the case at Soryu Sensei's class (www.so-ryu.com), the last 30 minutes were games. The assignment was to write about 2007. What kind of year was 2007. Well, this can't really be done for me in a simple 1 or 2 character piece, like most people. So, I decided (and this took sometime) to do a 2 character piece for every month, which means 24 characters, plus thinking in all under 30 minutes, which was really hard! Anyway, that explains why the characters aren't nearly as nicely written as the last post, and also these are my own words and didn't have an example next to me to copy from. There are my words from my mind through my brush to the paper.

Read from the upper right, down, and then left, so it goes 退学 and then 探検 and then to 帰国
and so on.

January: I left school (the characters mean left school)
February: I explored (explore)
March: Returned home (return and then country)
April: A family member died of illness (sick death)
May: I spent with my older brother (older brother and then demon, just because!)
June: I graduated (graduation)
July: I have no memory of what happened, so I decided to go with fireworks! (flower and fire mean fireworks)
August: I met my calligraphy teacher (calligraphy)
September: I spent with my family (family)
October: I started working in architecture (architecture)
November: I was sad and I cried (cry and sad)
December: I will grow (growth)

At the end of the class, everybody gets one vote and we vote on who's work is the best.

I became the first non-Japanese student (I think he has like 340 or so students) to win.

Usually the student gets to keep the work, but the teacher asked if he could keep it and show it to other classes.

Oh yeah, I'm really going to get into a good college...

2007-12-04T23:23:00.000+09:00

...when I can't even figure out how to rotate pictures to post them on my blog.

Wrong Brain Right Brain Left Brain Came Brain

2007-12-02T22:05:00.001+09:00

I saw somewhere something about left or right brains, and I searched around on the internet for some tests, and read something here and there, and started to think.

Currently, I appear to be right brained, but if I look back in the past, I was most certainly left brained.

Weird.

SAT2

2007-12-01T15:58:00.000+09:00

also known as
SATurday mornings Should be spent wAtching carTwoons.

I decided not to take the SAT today.

Instead, I took the SAT2's which was a good idea in that they are more important to me since I already have a pretty good ACT score, but not good because I haven't studied that stuff in over a year and a half!
An hour per test
World History 95 problems, pretty ok
Math 1 50 problems, super ok
Physucks 75 problems, less than pretty ok

Ideas worth sharing

2007-11-30T20:08:00.000+09:00

http://www.TED.com

"Modernist architecture means big white box."

CNN Youtube Debates

2007-11-29T11:23:00.000+09:00

As usual, I ate breakfast this morning and sat with Julie while watching CNN. This morning, the CNN Republican Youtube Debates was going.

Awesome.

Best Quote yet:
when asked, concerning the death penalty, "What would Jesus do?", some candidate (I don't know their names) said, "Jesus Christ was too smart to run for public office."

That candidate probably doesn't realize that he just insulted himself.

SAT

2007-11-26T23:58:00.000+09:00

Thanks to the SAT on Saturday, I will be getting off work everyday this week...before 10pm!!!

That gives me exactly.... no time to study!

Why is it that no matter what I do, I always wish I was doing something different?

Things mildly or less or more important to me.

2007-11-25T18:21:00.000+09:00

I first met El Lissitzky at a coffee shop, horribly inappropriately named "CBGB in Tokyo" or something like that, in the back streets of Ikebukuro.

I was attempting to read a book about the Bauhaus, but my German is, virtually nonexistant. A frequent conversation between me and the German at the office goes as such:
me: dieses ist eine Scheißearbeit
him: at least your japanese is good.

Anyway, I was flipping the pages of the book, when I came across a something of El Lissitzky's, but, being me, I have completely forgotten what it was, but I was smart enough to write his name down on my hand so I could look it up when I got home.

Pity I didn't like anything I saw in the book.

I try very hard to not like things for their shape, as thats not the important part.

Unfortunately, that is a lot harder to do than one would think.

Art is oh so very important to me, or at least I think so, and yet I still tend to hate everything I see.

I've been very very very busy recently, and have mostly forgotten most of what has happened, but all I know is that I am getting cold.

And bored. And a handful of other adjectives, most of which can't seem to make it from my mind to my fingertips to the keyboard to the input text box.

F-Day

2007-11-21T00:11:00.000+09:00

Today, November 20th 2007, is "F-Day".

Starting today, all foreign nationals who enter Japan will be fingerprinted and photographed.
There was a poster somewhere that was put out by the government that has cute little drawings of a white woman, smiling the whole time, going through the procedure, the immigration officer is also smiling, and nobody else is around.

The lines at Narita are going to be sooooooo bad.

I really want to see the numbers concerning drop in money that comes from tourism.

Blatant and atrocious racism, in such a first world country.

There are just some things in this world that drive me crazy. The pure ridiculousness of it, the anger that I fell, the this feeling, and the that feeling, it all makes me sick.

Things I Dislike:

2007-11-20T00:06:00.000+09:00

leaving work past 11, which means getting home past midnight, which gives me no time to write about whats been going on, even if that isn't much.

Off to sleep, work and calligraphy again tomorrow, that's gonna be a fun one.

ps. why do people crack up but break down?

Worked

2007-11-14T01:18:00.000+09:00

It is 1:15 in the morning, and I am just about to go to bed, didn't get home until past midnight from work today, and I have work again tomorrow!

I started working on what will be my main project while I am there, more of which can be found out about here:
http://www.arcspace.com/architects/ito/taichung/taichung.html
If you scroll down on that page until you see a big white model, that is basically what I am building.
I am building a 1/50th scale, which means big, and that means time consuming. The problem with modern architecture is that it makes lots of nonlinear shapes, which are all very difficult to achieve with linear materials.
I have 4 blocks to build, which, as the I guy am working for said to me, "sounds like a lot of work, but once you get used to it, you will probably be making about one a month."

Steady employment!!!

Except that I am not getting an money.

The process to make the damn things is difficult, and very time consuming, and very materials consuming including wasted paper, wasted this strange mat stuff and wasted styrofoam, but I think I should be able reuse most of it, but that takes even more time and effort, and oh my god I don't know what to do about that, I want to save the world, but this is just ridiculous, and my arm is about to fall off from using a heat cutter for like 4 hours today so I am going to sleep.

ZZZ

Smily Faces on the Scantron

2007-11-11T18:57:00.000+09:00

I took the "Examination for Japanese University Admission for International Students" today.

First, I had like 2.5 hours of Japanese. 20 minutes of writing, which I did no problem. Then there were 30 minutes for reading, which was not nearly enough, I had to guess on the last 5 or so(only 20 questions!) Then was listening until the end. First was pure listening, where you listen to a dialogue, and then answer spoken questions. Then was a dialogue to written questions. Both were too slow, too long, and too boring and so I slight dozed off and missed some, so I guess, but I know I got the ones I was awake for right!
Then came lunch.
Then was 90 minutes of "Japan and the World" which is geography and history and econ and poly and stuff.
"Which country on this map is mostly likely Spain?"
Too much time, half of the problems were super easy and half of them I had no idea what they were talking about. Ombudsman?
Then came a short break.
Then was 90 minutes of math. Let's just say that I drew a really nice picture of the room.

Brilliant

2007-11-09T01:47:00.001+09:00

Design

2007-11-07T15:45:00.002+09:00

Tokyo Designers Week sucked.

The theme this year, as it was last year, was something like "Love and Earth"

I spent a very little amount of time looking at the work of pros, and most of the time looking at the student works (but only the student only works, not the corporate sponsored student works), and still didn't like any of it.

Firstly, even if any of the ideas had been lovely and or Earth friendly (which I didn't see any that particularly were), I think that design for the sake of money defeats the purpose of Love and Earth.

Now, when I, an 18 year old with no design education, no experience, no nothing, says "I think", I highly doubt that anyone will pay any attention to me.

Well, Fuck them.

Design for the sake of money defeats the purpose.

I want to save the fucking world, and I don't give a damn what designers think about it.

What person in their right mind would, for the theme of "Love and Earth", build something out of wood?!?!?!

What needs to be done, is attention. People need to be aware of what is going on.

We need to redesign design.

You want to build a nice building, don't design a buiding, redesign architecture.

I don't know anything about graphics (yet?) so I will just post the words for a rubric that I am designing, this one is focusing on urban design.

Engineering Materials Earth Sciences
Architecture Environment Ecology
Art Humanity Life

Put each one of those into a cube, and you have a 3x3 box. A total of 14 (9 1x1, 4 2x2, 1 3x3) boxes. Each adjacent box relates to the ones on its' edges, and without anyone of them, your design isn't good.

You want to build a building? You have to have all of the walls.

You heard it here first people, Common Sense is Avant Garde!

Mash

2007-11-03T23:19:00.000+09:00

Tonight, completely by accident, I bumped into the Tokyo premiere of the new Mash movie.
Mash is a group of cyclists from San Francisco who are notoriously, as the media probably calls them, "reckless".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTEWIiFPDN4

I have never really liked stuff like that, sure I ride a fixed gear and love it, but I started riding one because I actually raced on the track.

The movie wasn't great, but I stuck around for a little, because I wanted to ask some of the guys some questions. In only about a dozen clips in the entire movie does anyone wear a helmet. I thought that if these guys, who have a very large influence on new entrants into the bicycle community put a little more thought into it, they could really flip the image around, and show that they aren't so reckless, and that might get more people onto bikes.

At first, the manager or director or whatever was a jerk towards me, but after I helped them with some translating stuff, they all lighten up a little.

Here is the truth about me, put so very eloquently by this other foreigner, who I have disliked for a long time, but now that he lost his job at Nova, I at least feel a little sorry for:

"You piss people off. Nobody likes you." Or something like that. I think he used the word "shit" somewhere, but I can't remember where.

Yeah, I know. I'm glad that I am myself, because that way I won't ever have to meet me.

Not super proud of that.

Lost

2007-11-01T00:35:00.000+09:00

What on Earth am I doing?

Yesterday, I left work early (just before 7pm) to go to a party with my calligraphy teacher. That was kind of strange, being the youngest person by about 5 years (read: drinking party). I made it home around 1am, got up the next morning and went to work again. This week I get to start late (just after lunch), but today, I started working a little past one, and didn't get to finally leave the office until 11:30!

It is Halloween! I got invited to a party! I'm 18 fucking years old and I work 1o hours a day!

This isn't right. This can't be write. Something is terribly horribly wrong with my mind and body. They just don't match.

I would REALLY like to met someone with a more atypical life for them environment then me.

Freelance Human Being

2007-10-29T20:13:00.000+09:00

At the ACT, I was standing under the canopy (that's not the right word, is it?) watching the rain come down after the test. I was working up the energy to run all the way to the station in the rain!

Then, one of the girls I took the test with (an American) and a couple of the other kids at the school, asked me about me, because they had never seen me.

She: so, what do you?

I used the first word that came to my head, which is quite a strange choice

Me: uh, I'm freelance

She: like, a photographer

Me: no, like a person.

I then proceeded to skip the entire way to the station in the rain.

That's me, the freelance human being.

Damn, being freelance is hard!

ACT

2007-10-27T18:53:00.000+09:00

I don't feel like I did as well on the ACT as I should have. I was constantly running out of time and rushed with this and that, I had a lot of trouble concentrating.
It seemed somewhat harder than any of the practice tests I had taken.

Today, it rained like a ! I had a blast!

And got really fucking wet.

I am no longer wet or cold, but home alone and lonely on a Saturday night, and it is only 7pm!

I wish I had a social life.

quick question. which is worse: to do the right things for the wrong reasons, or to do the wrong things for the right reasons?

And My Walls Come Crumbling Down.

2007-10-25T22:10:00.000+09:00

I really have no idea what is going.

There isn't someone for me to talk to about this that I can easily get in touch with, and I really need to get it out, so I will write it here.

I see many, many things wrong with the world, and some part of me, I don't what or why or how or anything like that, but I want to change those things, I want to make the world a better place. So many things that people see as a major effort on ones part to make a difference seem like common sense to me.

Take, for example, transportation. I have always loved riding bikes, taking the bus, taking the trains, walking, and have never enjoyed riding in cars.
When I was 15, got an apprenticeship working at the Portland Office of Transportation. I worked really hard that summer, and got invited back the next summer to work as full time intern.

The summer I was 16, I worked on the Bike Network Signing Project, trying to make the Portland, the world, and better, safer place to ride a bike, and to live.

I read the link about Brett on the bikeportland page, and realized something really terrible.

Brett was killed at an intersection that I tried really hard to make a safer place.

I don't think there was anything that I could have done that would have prevented the collision, but I can't but help from thinking, what if here WAS something that I could have done, and for one reason or another, didn't do. And now, because of that, I feel like a played a role in his death. I rode that intersection, being really dangerous, many many times, and it was among the first signs to be up, and I rode it many times after the signs went up as well, and I think about now and there was really nothing that I could have done, but I still miserable. I tried my best, and yet a friend of mine still passed away in a crash.

I look at what I am doing in Ito Toyo's office. Using vast amounts of terrible materials to make models for expensive projects that only benefit a very small number of people.

Construction along takes up more resources and energy than the entire lifetime of the building, why are we wasting so much on these new buildings that aren't really needed?!

I take the ACT in 36 hours, and only now do I realize how badly I want to do really well on it.

I have no idea what I want to do, what I want to study or where I want to study it.

All I know is that I know nothing.

Brett Jarolimek

2007-10-24T21:55:00.001+09:00

http://bikeportland.org/2007/10/22/victim-was-bike-gallery-employee-avid-racer/

I would like to take a minute to remember Brett, who was a friend of mine and teammate with me during my Veloshop days.

He was killed in a bike crash with a truck on Monday in Portland.

I really liked Brett, he was always really friendly, and super super supportive of me whenever we rode together, how ever much I held people back with my lack of speed.

He is a really great person, and is missed already.

You heard it here first!

2007-10-24T21:26:00.000+09:00

Common sense is avant garde.

So, today at work I finally got to build models, instead of bookcases, but come on, how many people in the world can say that they have organized the library of one of the best architects in the world? Not many.

Today, I got to work at 10, and left at 8. I ran two trips from the office to the store to get supplies, and spent a crazy long time trying to build this one model. I would tell you more about all of those, and also put pictures up, if I were allowed to take pictures of the models. Everything that gets done in the office is a secret, and pictures aren't allowed to be taken. I thought that was pretty interesting.

I was, however, very disappointed with the idea of what we were doing, due to the ridiculous amounts of styrofoam that we were using. That just reinforces my theory that architecture can NOT save the world. I asked one of the guys in the office, a foreigner (Cornell grad), if he thought that architecture could save the world, and as soon as I finished my sentence, his one word answer was out.

No.

The construction process along uses more resources than the entire lifetime of the building. Co2, energy, etc. Sickening.

Both him and the other foreigner in the office (a German, works in the annex so I have met him once, but crazy smart) said that they didn't think architecture could save the world, but what could be done to slow the destruction of the earth was awareness.

When I asked what they wished they had studied in school now that they see what architecture has really become, one of them said Physics/BioChem and the other programming stuff. I can see how both of them could be very useful.

Physics/BioChem can be used to try and create better materials (materials engineering) and less terrible ways of construction.
Programming can be used to make better models on the computer which in turn causes less need for all of the styrofoam trash.

Common Sense is Avant Garde?

I don't really care for modern architecture. I like to look at it, but its not very useful. I really like Le Corbusier, and I guess I enjoy civil/urban/planning sort of things, trying to make things run better, and putting new cogs into a broken system.

SO! Stop building cool looking buildings (I like looking at them, though) and build something useful!

I go back to the office tomorrow at 10, its not like I have anything better to do.

Wait, I have the ACT on Saturday. Dammit, its not like I don't already have enough on plate, now I have to decide about college shit?

ps. I looked really awesome today, I wore a gray cardigan with a white shirt and a really nice blue/red tie. And jeans.
I got lots of compliments, just wish that the architectural profession left more time for human relationships!

I need a change of scenery.

2007-10-21T18:00:00.000+09:00

People often talk about freedom to live a certain way, but the more you live a certain way, the less free you actually are. What does it mean to live free?

Something in my life needs to change. Now, nobody likes to admit that they are the problem, but I think it might be time for me to look at myself, and see what needs changing.

Unfortunately, I don't even know what it means to know yourself, or even what it means to look for yourself. What does taking a trip even do?

Does it uproot us? But if we are leaving a bad place, but we have roots there, then why are those roots there? Are humans so resilient that they will try to live in a place that is wrong for them?
How did a race as stupid as the human race ever manage to do half of the things that they did?

I wish I knew more about swarm theory. That's biology, and I have never had an interest in biology, but I can see how it would be useful in urban planning/civil architecture.
Does that mean I should study biology in college? Or maybe if I wanted to know about the green architecture, I should be doing chemistry? But if I do those, I would know nothing about planning/architecture.

I don't feel that fickle is quite the right word to describe me, maybe 'easily influenced'.
That's a lousy feeling by the way.

In a great deal of honesty, nothing but good things are happening to me, but that doesn't mean that all is good in me.

Does that make any sense?
Why would that even be? What isn't going right? And how do I even know those things?

How can anybody know so little about themselves?

Paint the Cheerleader, Save the World?

2007-10-20T09:37:00.000+09:00

Make believe SAT prep:
Medicine is to vaccines as art is to?

How can anything I enjoy doing (most of which is all art) be used to save the world?

And in other news, I went to the NBC website to watch the latest episode of Heroes 2, and it wouldn't let me!

It isn't broadcast to my side of the world.

No Heroes? No Gossip Girl? Now how am I supposed to waste my time!

Not really sure what just happened.

2007-10-15T20:16:00.001+09:00

Friday: got back to Japan
Saturday: school festival, saw some friends, went to part (5 of the 26 hours) of an architecture workshop, made some new friends, had a good time, got laughed at by this one architect, which was really funny, because when I first saw him and his presentation, I thought he was an alien.
Sunday: school festival again, saw more friends, had some good fun, had dinner with the Fukudas
Monday: went to work.

wait, what?!?!?!?

Sunday afternoon, my phone rang. One of the friends who I met at the architecture workshop the night before, told me that the office where he works needed some help. Monday morning I get another call saying to come to an address.

So, I spent my 3rd full back in country working at Ito Toyo's (yes, the real deal! I met him, too!) office.

Well, all I did was clean and organize the basement, but still, its a start!

Gate glitch gives commuters free ride

2007-10-13T07:01:00.000+09:00

http://home.kyodo.co.jp/modules/fstStory/index.php?storyid=342059
The above is an abbreviated version of a story that was on the front page of the Japan Times this morning, about the ticketing gates on Japanese trains.

The cards they are refering to are charged with money outside of the stations, and then simply by touching the card to the sensor, you enter the station.

In the real version of the article, the company who makes the gates appologized for the glitch, saying that the problem must have given the commuters trouble.

Appologizing for free train rides?

Sweet

The Sex Lives of Argentinians

2007-10-13T05:49:00.001+09:00

Mom, on the Denver Airport: "Oh look! It's DisneyLand! On drugs."

The woman at United, to me, after I had just stood in a long line, and then as soon as I reached the front of it, that I needed to stand in another line: "Well, It's not like I can read minds!"

The flight to LA was uneventful, I think I slept, or maybe studied, probably both.

I had a couple of hours to kill in LAX, and my gate for departure was, at first, the same gate that I arrived in! But then it got moved two doors down.

I was going to eat at Wolfgang Puck Express, until I saw the sign on the wall that said "Foods that the State of California recognize as causing birth defects or cancer may be present here" Or something like that.

Anyway, I didn't eat there.

The flight to Narita was surprisingly nice, mom upgraded me to Economy Plus so that I could get an exit row (can you believe that they charge you extra for the exit row!?!?) and so I had like 5 feet of leg room and an aisle, which was really nice.

Unfortunately, the movies that they were showing were terrible, and I had trouble sleeping, so I spent most of my time preparing for the Japanese Exchange Exam, which I now feel pretty good about, just need to keep working on the math a little more.

I also talked at some length with two Argentinians, one of whom was a flight attendant. I went looking for water, and the two guys were talking, in both Spanish and English, and I just stood there and listened for a while, got my water, and listened some more, and then we all started chatting, and that took up most of the time. Every so often the flight attendant would have to run off to work, but when ever he came he would bring back little things and be like "this is what it is like to be in business class," and we got goody bags!

Went through immigration with no problem, got a one year entry permit(!!!) and made it back to the Fukuda's pretty easily.

I was crazy tired so I feel asleep around 8 with no dinner, and just woke up now about 6, and I am really hungry.

My whole body is sore, so the next couple of days, which are kinda busy with this and that, are going to be fun!

MacBook

2007-10-06T11:38:00.000+09:00

I got a new computer today.

Photos, architecture, blogging?

The Future.

2007-09-30T03:47:00.000+09:00

Well, I got my visa and go back to Japan on the 11th.

I really have no idea what I am doing.

Concerning this blog, I am wondering to do. Nobody reads it, and I have nothing to say. Nobody reads the things I don't have to say.

I really have no idea what to do.

HipHop and Calligraphy

2007-09-12T08:44:00.001+09:00

I was writing today, and I got a little bored, so I decided to put some music on.

One wouldn't really think of those two as going together, but I had a blast.

In other news, I got an email that said that my paperwork had been accepted my Japanese Immigration, and that it was coming in the mail. I also got in on a pdf, and it felt really sweet looking at it!

Just for the record.

2007-09-09T01:03:00.000+09:00

I am in Denver right now. I flew back on the 5th, and will spend 5 weeks here before flying back to Tokyo.

Two separate reports say that...

2007-08-31T17:12:00.000+09:00

...the population of dogs in Japan has exceeded the population on children under 10, and that there are an estimated 5400 people living in internetcafes in Tokyo.

What horrifying news.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

2007-08-28T19:06:00.001+09:00

No cloud in weeks.

And then, on the one day that the full lunar eclipse is happening, there is no sky to be seen, just clouds.

An unexpected appearance of the not very rare nimbular (that isn't a word isn't?) eclipse, when the clouds block out the sun!

SOOOOOOO PISSED!!!!!!!